Monday, 1 June 2009

Boyle Explodes.

It seems that insta-fame has become too much for Dave Lee Travis lookalike Susan Boyle.

After being escorted from a hotel by two police officers after a couple of paparazzis 'wound her up', it was clear the the mask was slipping. Then someone saw her going mental at the tv screen in a hotel lobby packed with Britain's Got Talent contestants because little Shaheen got some praise from Piers Morgan.

It seems that the classic fairytale ending that everyone so desperately is searching for in this sad sad world wasn't going to happen, because, well, this is real life and things like that don't happen. If you could call any of this media circus around her real anyway.

Unfortunately it seems that all the defining criteria is not quite perfect.

1. Susan Boyle's fame comes from her... ok I'll be kind and say 'unconventional' look. But none of you can say you're not thinking the same word as I am, but this point is for later. A talented person who isn't attractive? Christ, the world must stop for her! It's not like they picked an extreme and edited all the others out or anything.

2. She's got an amazing voice. Well... everyone seems to believe this is so. But is this because she does, or because we want her to because it helps us to understand that there is something good and just in this world and an underdog can come through therefore helping us to find some point to living? Hmmm... I'll let you think on that for a while. Casing point, performance of 'Memory'. Not great, from where I'm standing, yet not even Simon Cowell mentions the bum notes which are there from the very first word. It seems we've set a precedent for her that she cannot fall under, and it's ALL OUR FAULT!

3. She's a nice, normal lady. Well, up until about 2 weeks ago, yeah. But then she got stressed and started swearing and getting angry and 'talking to policemen but NOT arrested, definitely not arrested'. Now she's been escorted away by head doctors and police 'after concerns for her own safety'. Reports say she went mental because she didn't win. Hmmm... I feel like the ghost at the feast saying this, but is it not possible that it's not a mental illness, but an ego complex she developed because WE couldn't find fault with her?

4. Everyone loves her sooo much, like a disabled kitten, we hugged her until she asphixiated in our arms. Even heretics are being burned at the stake - see here for the story of "1:24 Girl" and the global hate campaign caused because SHE DARED TO ROLL HER EYES AT THE BOYLE. We've created a monster!

In conclusion, it's all our fault. We said she couldn't lose, then she did. The feeling that I'll be lynched for saying 'maybe she's not a very nice lady after all' makes me feel strange inside, which must say something about this whole situation. It seems people still aren't ready to let go yet; will it take a killing rampage by Boyle to sway public opinion? I can imagine the headline in the Sun:

"Boyle beheads 20, but fuck me she can sing, despite being incredibly ugly. Well done!"

1 comment: