SurAlan has his Apprentice for another year, and we can all snatch a breath before the next reality TV bonanza...
Actually, no, that's a lie. We've now got Big Brother AND America's Got Talent to contend with. I feel I'm not the only one who's in some way obligated to watch these things in order to maintain rapport with work colleagues and acquaintances, or face being viewed as some kind of freak with no interest in these sacred televisual traditions. Unfortunately, it's a high price to pay. With 16 contestants, Big Brother this year by my calculations will be lasting... oh I don't know... 25 years or so? No wonder Davina's said it's her last one, she'll probably have died of old age by the time it's finished.
I'm finding the whole thing deeply depressing at the moment. Plus with half of them changing their names by deed poll day by day, I have no idea who's who. It's easy to remember the 'outrageous' ones, but when you're faced with a room of freaks, it's surprisingly different to separate them.
However, I'm starting to think that it's possible that some of them are old contestants who've been recycled into this new series. Here's some suspiciously alike contestants old and new:
Ok so that last one was a bit mean, but you catch my drift.
In BB news, Beinazir has been evicted as per those bizarre non-housemate rules that seemed to have very little point whatsoever except as a failed attempt to revive Big Brother's seriously flagging viewer ratings. Shouldn't this be at the top of this article? Yeah, probably, but then again, I've placed the news exactly in order of importance in this article, unlike the Sun trying desperately to fool readers into thinking that Big Brother is actually important, seeing as it provides 90% of their headlines from June-December without any journalism needed whatsoever.
Hopefully in the coming weeks it'll get more interesting, and maybe then I'll actually bother to remember their names.