On the rare occasions I am able to indulge in the satisfying, yet completely nutrition-free delights of morning talk shows, I am often surprised how much they've changed in my absence.
Jeremy Kyle, Giro Overlord is celebrating his 1000th show this week by incorporating a new show feature in order to assist the poor, vulnerable and emotionally stunted to get their lives back on the straight and narrow.
Somehow, the man has convinced two medical professionals to perform anything from blood tests to ultrasounds on guests to determine if they are pregnant, alcoholics or terminally ill. All this on stage in front of a live studio audience. One poor fucker was forced to stare at his self-inflicted liver damage on a monitor, whilst simultaneously being derided and humiliated by a twat perched on a step like some kind of cross between Jesus Christ and David Cameron.
Another girl had to undergo similar treatment in order to test for pregnancy. I can only thank god they decided to go for an (expensive and unnecessary) ultrasound, rather than getting the poor bitch to piss on a stick on national television.
Is this the beginning of the end for our healthcare system? Trading our dignity for essential medical treatment? It's this kind of thing that makes me thank Christ I'm with BUPA.