3 elephants and a Nazi.

Morbid curiosity led to me watching Gillian Mckeith beating the emotional shit out of some fat girls getting married in Channel Four's 'Three Fat Brides, One Thin Dress'.

I was prepared for her no-nonsense approach, but some of her remarks made me wonder who the fuck's side she was on. Storming into a wedding shop and pushing an assistant aside, she screamed at the terrified bride-to-be 'you'll need more than a bouquet, more like a beach ball to cover that MASSIVE BELLY!'

I wouldn't mind the cruel-to-be-kind thing, but the editing was almost as bad as when Gillian shoves a diseased heart in a vending machine and forces the poor bitch to pick it up. And let's not forget the slo-mo shots of the CHICKEN NUGGETS OF DEATH with Jurassic Park sound effects remixed with heart monitor flat lines.


The choice between being obese and prodding at shit all day to me is somewhat of a no-brainer. Bring on the fucking chips.