Loose.

Why hasn't Loose Women been pulled yet? It feels like it's been going for centuries. Maybe it has, its effect on weekday mornings has made time lose all meaning for me. Never before has a programme had such an ironic title in my life. The only one the term 'loose' applies to is that 'butch' one, you know, the one that drinks pints and that and not gin and tonic or some other equally old-fashioned drink. So the point of this show is airing on the premise of something feminist whilst portraying the masculinised one as a freak in an attempt to take us back to 1920s gender politics? Something tells me that power like that shouldn't be in the hands of such dense people. The rest of the coven are just a bunch of hormonal freaks who shout 'we don't need men!' one minute, then write love notes to send to George Clooney's fan club the next. Three married women; two of which baby machines, one barren, two spinsters who like it that way, a couple of nymphos and a lesbian. Representative of the British female population. Good. Well researched, you bunch of backwards lab specimens.

Denise Welch fronts the feminist campaign by getting her tits out for Russell Brand.


What's worse, now they're auditioning female hopefuls to add to their pack. Am I the only one who thinks they need more than a new panel member to turn that car accident of a show around?

Then again, this is ITV so... we should be thankful that their daytime selection is there to make us all go out and get jobs.